An Atheist in the Woods

AN ATHEIST IN THE WOODS

An atheist was walking through the woods.

'What majestic trees!'

'What powerful rivers!'

'What beautiful animals!'

He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.  He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.  He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.

In that instant, the Atheist cried out:  'Oh my God!'

Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.

'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist, and even credit creation to cosmic accident.  Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?  Am I to count you as a believer?'

The atheist looked directly into the light, and said: 'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?'

'Very well', said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:

'Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from Thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen.'

Most Common Birthday....

Totally random, but I was wondering what day of the year has the most birthdays and per my research it seems that October 5th wins the cake (Get it - cake!) in America.  If a person were to run some quick numbers; that means more babies are conceived on, you guessed it, New Year's Eve than any other date.  According to anybirthday.com the average number of birthdays on October 5 is 12,576 each year making that date to have some 968,000 people celebrating THEIR day!

What is the least common?  Poor old May 22 with an average of only a mere 10,259 births each year.

Ocillococcinum

Oscillo-cox what?  Oscillococcinum (o-sill-o-cox-ci-num) or Oscillo for short.

I decided to blog about this "wonder" product because I am always recommending it to my friends when they tell me their children are sick with the flu.  We have used Oscillo for almost 5 years now and have had no problem with the flu in our home.  Not sure who or where I heard about it, but I do know it works.  It was at one time the number one homepathic remedy in France for the flu.

You can buy it at almost any drugstore or pharmacy; it is usually near the cough drops and homeopathic remedies for colds and flu.  The bigger chain stores carry it as well and it can range in price considerably.  I usually buy it from the bigger chain stores for the best price break.

Here is how we use it.  I try to ALWAYS keep some in the medicine cabinet.  At the FIRST sign of fever is when we take it.  Open the package and take one vile (dissolve under the tongue).  There are three viles to a package and it is sealled to be air-tight.  The standard box comes with two packages or six viles.  (By-the-way, tt taste good - kind of like Nerds Candies my children say.)  After taking the first vile, wait about 6 to 8 hours and then take another vile.  Usually three viles does the job.

One time my son was sick (he lived away at school) and didn't take it right away when he first felt sick.  He needed to take six viles total to finally kick the bug and then he was well.  He was running a very high fever and felt awful.  After the first dose he felt an improvement. Then he was convinced and took the rest according to what I have told you above.  Like I have said, if you take it at the first on-set of sickness (fever is the measure I use) you will see it kicks the bug right away.

I am no physican and I do not claim to know medicine but I know this product works for our family and wanted to share it with you for yours!  Read more about Oscillococcinum on Wikipedia.

the Apostrophe.

Yes, this is a post about the Apostrophe.   Why the apostrophe?  Because I found this incredible link that has some great discussion regarding the use and misuse of this wonderful English language tool.

Did you know there was even a society for the protection of the apostrophe?  It is called, The Apostrophe Protection Society.  How fitting.

I received the following information from a writing group that I am a part of and thought the information was worth sharing.  In the least there is a lot of food for thought here and hopefully you will even learn something new.  ENJOY:

Everywhere you turn, you see apostrophe errors. You'll find them in the produce department of the store ("Pear's for sale") and even in professional works that should know better, such as newspapers ("Its time for the Fall Festival").

There's actually a good reason for the confusion between "it's" and "its." Until the 19^th century, our plural form of the pronoun "it" was treated the same as a noun plural: "The lizard lost it's tail." That's because the word "'tis" was in vogue during that time, and it served as the contraction form of "it is." "Tis a lovely day."

However, as we moved into the 19^th century, "'tis" fell out of favor, and we began using "it's" as the contraction form of "it is." That's when we saw the emergence of the plain "its," which freed up the contraction, and then the confusion began.

But as you know, "it's" and "its" aren't the only troublesome areas where folks struggle with apostrophes. As to the other rules, they're covered in Evaluating Writing. But the main errors people make with apostrophes fall into these three categories:

Apostrophes in Possessives

YES: 

Use an apostrophe and an s when a noun owns something:

 Bill's ball

Mary's hat

BUT:

Use only an apostrophe when the noun is plural AND ends in an s. Otherwise, use the apostrophe and the s:

The cats' toys

The children's lessons

James's haircut

NO:

Do not use an apostrophe when you're talking about pronouns that own things, as in words such as his, hers, and its:

His truck is red.

Her shoes are new.

Its windows are tinted.

Apostrophes in Plurals

NO:

You do not need to use an apostrophe when you're referring to several nouns:

Bees make honey.

Dogs like to chase cats.

Apples are on sale this week.

Apostrophes in Contractions

YES:

Use an apostrophe when you're combining two words into one:

Doesn't = does not

Can't = can not or cannot

Isn't = is not

You're = you are

Steve Martin - the Musician?

If you have never heard comedian Steve Martin play the banjo than you have been missing something special.  He is playing here with Bela Fleck and Tony Trischoka (among others) on David Letterman in 2007 a song entitled, The Crow.

Martin is not just a comedian and actor, he also is an incredible musician.  This should put a smile on your face and a skip in your step.  Very good!

On that note, I also found this incredibly funny song with Steve Martin and the Steep Canyon Rangers as they perform at Merlefest in 2010.  The name of the song is Atheist Have No Songs. 

For the record, Martin was born in Waco, Texas and his family was Baptist but his upbringing found him seldom, if ever, in church. A friend who wrote an autobiography of him claims he is an Agnostic at best.  He has married twice and had a few known romances as many in Hollywood do.  An interesting, yet sad to me note, is that he has never had children.  Interesting personality, this Steve Martin.

2011 American Idol

Ran across this clip from the 2011 American Idol auditions and had to share this incredible voice and his touching story.

16-year-old Brett Loewenstern has faced a life of reticule and teasing yet he persevered and continued to press into what he does best, singing.  The song of his selection is bit less than one of my favorites (Bohemian Rhapsody) but his creamy voice makes up for what the lyrics lack.

Enjoy this up and coming voice.  I am sure we will be hearing more from him in the future.

Bill Cosby, Understanding Southern

Watching Bill Cosby dialoging with this southern women while taping his show in which she was a contestant is in short - hillarious!  Don't quite know what to do with this woman.  You will have to watch to see what I am talking about and see if you can Understand Southern.